I Quit Weed and my Friends Husband Died

Today was mildly boring, yet full of events.

Our drummer flew in last night, so we set his drums up at our practice space. Afterwards we got chicken at Raising Cane’s, and I now feel sick to my stomach (delicious food, just unhealthy and I ate too much). Earlier in the day we took my bass and the singers guitar to a luther he is friends with. We get them back tomorrow and I am very excited to see how the luther’s work is compared to my initial set up! Hopefully he doesn’t have to do anything, meaning I will have taught myself properly.

Today marks day 5 of not smoking marijuana. After a few months of mental and emotional agony, I decided to kick the habit. I need to be the best human I can be, and that means mental clarity. I may smoke occasionally, but I will find out in time. I enjoy the sobriety. I can maintain conversations, I don’t over think my every action, plus I can actually talk to girls- and flirt!

There are a few side effects to this, though. I currently don’t crave sex like I used to, and my mind wants to compensate the lack of feel good high with greasy, unhealthy foods. After tonights meal, though, I confidently won’t be eating anymore of that. Not often, at least. My depression ebbs and flows, but I do find myself getting trapped in feeling unmotivated. So to counteract this, I simply DO things; jogging, band work, personal work, writing. Remaining busy helps, and is a good distraction for when the cravings begin to set in.

Quitting has already offered more than I already stated 2 paragraphs ago, but I want to include that I don’t get lost in existential dread as much as I had when I was stoned. I enjoy this, because I no longer find myself panicking at the smallest thought of death.

Speaking of death, a girl I dated in high school married a couple years after we graduated… and her husband died a few days ago. I found this information out on Twitter, of all places, through someones tweet regarding the gofundme set up to help with the bills. My heart is broken. I audibly said, “Oh, no!” and grabbed at my heart. This girl is a good person, so I know her husband was, too. I wish I could help in any way, but I can’t. I hope she can find comfort and recover soon.

Tomorrow I attend music panels at Vegas Music Summit, and later that night I will watch my friend perform with her band Jesse Pino and the Vital Signs. I am excited for both! I look forward to tonights sleep, and tomorrows information, plus the adventures!

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