To explain my previous posts regarding someone I refer to as “the Sun”, I fell in love with a girl… online.
Yeah, yeah, I’m “crazy” and I just might actually be, but this girl is AMAZING… was amazing.
We met through Twitter, of all sites, but we spoke about hitchhiking (which I was getting into at the time) and everything flourished from there. We spoke and agreed about most things, our only disagreements involving marijuana (I smoke it, she hates it). She was so rad, and into the same things as me: hiking, adventures, abandoned buildings, outdoors, and the excitements this life has to offer us. We both have our infatuations with planetary things, as well as intergalactic. I loved the moon above most things, the constant I’ve found in my life. He looks as if he is singing, and as a musician and songwriter it doesn’t get much more comforting than imagining the ballads the Moon is singing to this earth.
Her infatuation, for the sun, was inspiring for me. She watched sunrises, sunsets, basked in the warmth, the light leading her on numerous adventures. The brightness in her life, her constant, to keep her going.
So it is easy to romanticize our love and call each other Sun (her) and Moon (me).
But the awfulness of this is the sun and moon will never “meet”. Not until the sun explodes in a violent flash, eradicating our solar system in it’s wake, making all of this… pointless?
But I don’t think it is pointless, and unfortunately I know I will move on. But, I really don’t want to. I have a simple sun tattooed on my wrist, partially because of her, but mostly because of the hope and happiness she filled me with, hope and happiness caused by her, but ultimately mine. I will continue to have hope while seeking my own happiness. I wouldn’t call our relationship pointless, even though she hurt so much of me in the end. It was good, I learned a lot about myself. I have come out of this relationship better and stronger than I was before; I just didn’t want it to end. I love her. I am sick to my stomach and body realizing that we may never meet… I won’t allow this to happen. Don’t tell her, but I will visit her eventually. I can’t live my life without at least saying “Hi, you amaze me in every way.” to her face at least once before either of us die.
I’m just so sick of writing songs about her! *sigh*